Feel Like Cutting?

I’m going to tell you not to go down that road, but I’m not going to do this by :

a) telling you it’ll all get better.

why? chances are, you’ll be counting down the days for it to. Don’t do this, don’t believe it until you see it. But also, don’t be hard sceptical  about it.

or b) telling you to pretend everything is ok.

Don’t do this. This will cause you to break down every once and a while. Never the solution. Never.

Instead, I’m going to tell you to keep positive thoughts. Cry when you need too, don’t bottle everything up until you feel like you’re going to break down.

Look at yourself in the mirror (this worked for me after) and picture yourself with millions of scars. Sure, they’d be great stories, great reasons to prove you’re strong. But it’s better to prove you were strong without the side effects. Also try telling yourself you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. This will help when your friends who cut, say it helps them, or it keeps them up to date with their strength, and/or the way the “moved on”, because honestly, when you have scars, you never move on.

Make a bucket list. Think to yourself: “I have all of this to live for, do I really want to just pretend that everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I’ve ever done, was just worthless?” Promise yourself you will do at least 20 of the things on a  bucket list of 100. Include “over come ______.”(whatever you want to call the reason why you’re cutting, or wanting to, i mean, hey, we all have different reasons.) as one of the top 20, or even 10. This will kind of give you yet a n o t h e r reason to be here.

And if you’ve just cut before reading this, please draw a butterfly.

Name it after someone who cried after you told them what you did. Name it after someone you love, someone who you know cares for you. Name it after anyone. As long as you realize that if you cut anywhere on your body after drawing this, your butterfly will die. Think about killing that one person who cares about you.

Next, think about cutting. Feeling that blood slip down your arm or thigh, after feeling all that numbness. It would probably feel so nice… Imaging laying back, and just, feeling like you’re in a different place where you’re finally happy. But what if you cut too deep? Who would find you? Your mom? Your dad? Sibling? Your best friend? They wouldn’t know what to do. They’d think it was their fault. You’d never be able to say another word to them, or even write them a letter because it wasn’t on purpose. Then what?

Your kids. Whether you have a son or a daughter, they will one day look at one of your scars. They will ask what happened. They will think it’s ok to follow in your foot steps. Do you want that? Do you want your child to hide it from you like you hide it from your mom/dad/guardian? 

You’re so pretty/handsome. Think, some guy/girl out there. (S)He’s dying to ask you out on a date, and now you’re dead.

Please don’t do this. I know it’s hard, because you know, it’s easy to say “I’ll never cut again!” but it’s so hard to actually do it. Really, it is. I’m not going to sit here, right now, and tell you that it’s so easy to stop.

Once you do it, you can’t stop. You love the feeling. But no one else does.

You’ll eventually feel happy. You will, I promise you that.

People are scared others will drift away from the scars, like people will all of a sudden just feel like they’re crazy.

But “cutters” aren’t crazy. They’re people who just need to feel something other than pain. That’s where cutting comes in.

It’s so hard.

Please don’t get into it.

Put the knife, razor, sharp metal, pill, whatever. Put it down. Give it to a friend.

Tell them it’ll do no good use to you anymore.

Because once it’s gone, you’re one step closer to victory.

You’re once step closer to feeling happy. To not feeling numb. 

Would you rather feel the blood, and that moment of silence, or the way your face feels after you smile. Do you remember that feeling?

You’re not only worth-something, but you are worth-something-different.

Even if you don’t hear it often, you’re good enough.

We’re all beautiful. Even if no one notices. 

- Abbey Cole. :)

Ps: I’m always here. Message me. Really. I’ll never tell you to go away. I love listening.